EMINEM--***THE REAL SLIM SHADY***
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're going to have a problem here
c
(Verse 1)
Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before
jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first get divorced throwing her over furniture (scream)
It's the return of the
"Oh wait, no way, your kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did
he?"
And Dr Dre said
....Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha)
Feminist women love Eminem
Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him
look at him, walking around grabbing his you know what
limpin' to you know who "yeah, but hes so cute though"
Yea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
but no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose,
but can't, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
my bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
and if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
and that's the message that we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a womens clitoris is.
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit 4th grade,
they got the discovery channel don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals; well some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes.
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote.
Women wave your panty hoes, sing the chorus and it goes...
(Chorus)
I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
becuase I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady...
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
(Verse 2)
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too.
You think I give a damm about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me.
"But Slim what if u win wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears.
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first.
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
"yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, hehe"
I should download her audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D. (scream)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I've been sent here to destroy you
And theres a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me
Walk, talk and act like me
It just might be the next best thing
But not quite me
(chorus)
(Verse 3)
I'm like a headtrip to listen to
Cause I'm only giving you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya'll
And I don't gotta be false or sugar coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it (rip)
I just shit it better than 90% of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kidz eat up these albums like valiums.
Its funny cuz at the rate im going when I'm 30
Ill be the only person in the nursing home flirty.
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens and I'm jerking
But this whole bag of viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin'
He could be workin at Burger King spitten on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot circling
screaming I don't give a fuck
With his windows down and system up
So will the real Shady, please stand up
and put one of those fingures on each hand up
and to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
(chorus)

WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY SITE?

BARENAKED LAIDIES -- ***PINCH ME***


It's the perfect time of year
Somewhere far away from here
I feel fine enough I guess
Considering everything's a mess
There's a restaurant down the street
Where hungry people like to eat
I could walk, but I'll just drive
It's colder than it looks outside

It's like a dream you try to remember but it's gone
Then you try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn
When you try to see the world beyond your front door
Take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile
When you realize that a guy my size might take awhile
Just to try to figure out what all this is for

It's the perfect time of day
To throw all your cares away
Put the sprinkler on the lawn
And run through with my gym shorts on
Take a drink right from the hose
And change into some dryer clothes
Climb the stairs up to my room
Sleep away the afternoon

It's like a dream you try to remember but it's gone
Then you try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn
When you try to see the world beyond your front door
Take your time cos the way rhyme's gonna make you smile
When you realize that guy my size might take awhile
Just to try to figure out what all this is for


Pinch me, pinch me
'Cause I'm still asleep
Please God, tell me
That I'm still asleep

On an evening such as this
It's hard to tell if I exist
Pack the car and leave this town
You'll notice that I'm not around
I could hide out under there
I just made you say underwear
I could leave but I'll just stay
All my stuff's here anyway

It's like a dream you try to remember but it's gone
Then you try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn
When you try to see the world beyond your front door
Take your time cos the way I rhymes' gonna make you smile
When you realize that a guy my size might take awhile
Just to try to figure out what all this is for
Try to figure out what all this is for
Try to see the world beyond your front door
Try to figure out what all this is for

FORGOT ABOUT DRE
[Dr Dre]
Ya'll know me still the same ol' G
But I been low key
Hated on by most these niggas
Wit no cheese, no deals and no G's, no wheels and no keys
No boats, no snowmobiles and no ski's
Mad at me cause
I can finally afford to provide my family wit groceries
Got a crib wit a studio and it's all full of tracks
To add to the wall full of plaques
Hangin up in the office in back of my house like trophies
But ya'll think I'm gonna let my dough freeze
Ho Please
You better bow down on both knees
Who you think taught you to smoke trees
Who you think brought you the o' G's
Eazy-E's Ice Cube's and D.O.C's and Snoop D O double G's
And a group that said muthafuck the police
Gave you a tape full of dope beats
The bomb weed stroll through in you hood
And when your album sales wasn't doin too good
Who's the doc that he told you to go see
Ya'll better listen up closely
All you niggas that said that I turned pop
Or the Firm flop
ya'll are the reason Dre ain't been getting no sleep
So fuck ya'll all of ya'll
If ya'll don't like me blow me
Ya'll are gonna keep fuckin around wit me
And turn me back to the old me

[chorus] x2 [Eminem]

Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say
But nothin comes out when they move they lips
Just a buncha gibberish
And muthafuckas act like they forgot about Dre

[Eminem]
So what do you say to somebody you hate
Or anybody tryna bring trouble your way
Wanna resolve things in a bloodier way
Just study your tape of NWA.
One day I was walkin by
Wit a walkmen on
When I caught a guy givin me an awkward eye
And strangled him off in the parkin lot wit his Karl Kani
I don't give a fuck if it's dark or not
I'm harder than me tryna park a Dodge
But I'm drunk as fuck
Right next to a humungous truck in a two car garage
Hoppin out wit two broken legs tryna walk it off
Fuck you too bitch call the cops
I'ma kill you and them loud ass muthafuckin barkin dogs
And when the cops came through
Me and Dre stood next to a burnt down house
Wit a can full of gas and a hand full of matches
And still one found out
From here on out it's the Chronic 2
Startin today and tomorrows the new
And I'm still loco and nuts
To choke you to death wit a Charleston chew

Slim shady hotter then a set of twin babies
In a Mercedes Benz wit the windows up
And the temp goes up to the mid 80's
Callin men ladies
Sorry Doc but I been crazy
There is no way that you can save me
It's ok go with him Hailey

[chorus] x2

[Dr Dre]
If it was up to me
You muthafuckas would stop comin up to me
Wit your hands out lookin up to me
Like you want somethin free
When my last cd was out you wasn't bumpin me
But now that I got this little company
Everybody wanna come to me like it was some disease
But you won't get a crumb from me
Cause I'm from the streets of
I told em all
All them little gangstas
Who you think helped mold 'em all
Now you wanna run around and talk about guns
Like I ain't got none
What you think I sold 'em all
Cause I stay well off
Now all I get is hate mail all day sayin Dre fell off
What cause I been in the lab wit a pen and a pad
Tryna get this damn label off
I ain't havin that
This is the millenium of Aftermath
It ain't gonna be nothin after that
So give me one more platinum plaque and fuck rap
You can have it back
So where's all the mad rappers at
It's like a jungle in this habitat
But all you savage cats
Knew that I was strapped wit gats
When you were cuddled wit cabbage patch

BRITNEY SPEARS
LUCKY
This is a story about a girl named Lucky

Early morning, she wakes up
Knock, knock, knock on the door
It's time for makeup, perfect smile
It's you they're all waiting for
They go
"Isn't she lovely, this Hollywood girl?"
And they say

She's so lucky, she's a star
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If there's nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night

Lost in an image, in a dream
But there's no one there to wake her up
And the world is spinning, and she keeps on winning
But tell me what happens when it stops?
They go
"Isn't she lovely, this Hollywood girl?"
And they say

She's so lucky, she's a star
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If there's nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night

"Best actress, and the winner isLucky!"
"I'm Roger Johnson for Pop News standing outside the arena waiting for Lucky"
"Oh my god here she comes!"

Isn't she lucky, this Hollywood girl?
She is so lucky, but why does she cry?
If there's nothing missing in her life
Why do tears come at night?

She's so lucky, she's a star
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If there's nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night ,

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