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EMINEM PAGE IF YOU LOVE THE SLIM SHADY YOU WILL LOVE THIS PAGE! (EMINEM RULES)
	EMINEM-THE REAL SLIM SHADY May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up? We're going to have a problem here c Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door started whoopin her ass worse than before they first get divorced throwing her over furniture (scream) It's the return of the "Oh wait, no way, your kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" And Dr Dre said ....Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha) Feminist women love Eminem Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him look at him, walking around grabbing his you know what limpin' to you know who "yeah, but hes so cute though" Yea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose but no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose my bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips and if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss and that's the message that we deliver to little kids and expect them not to know what a womens clitoris is. Of course they gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit 4th grade, they got the discovery channel don't they? We ain't nothing but mammals; well some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloupes. But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote. Women wave your panty hoes, sing the chorus and it goes... I'm Slim Shady Yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady... Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up becuase I'm Slim Shady Yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim shady... Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too. You think I give a damm about a Grammy? Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me. "But Slim what if u win wouldn't it be weird?" Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here? So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears. Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first. Little bitch put me on blast on MTV "yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, hehe" I should download her audio on mp3 And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D. (scream) I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me So I've been sent here to destroy you And theres a million of us just like me Who cuss like me Who just don't give a fuck like me Who dress like me Walk, talk and act like me It just might be the next best thing But not quite me I'm Slim Shady Yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady... Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up becuase I'm Slim Shady Yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim shady... Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up I'm like a headtrip to listen to Cause I'm only giving you things you joke about with your friends inside your living room The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya'll And I don't gotta be false or sugar coated at all I just get on the mic and spit it And whether you like to admit it (rip) I just shit it better than 90% of you rappers out there Then you wonder how can kidz eat up these albums like valiums. Its funny cuz at the rate im going when I'm 30 Ill be the only person in the nursing home flirty. Pinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens and I'm jerking But this whole bag of viagra isn't working And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin' He could be workin at Burger King spitten on your onion rings Or in the parking lot circling screaming I don't give a fuck With his windows down and system up So will the real Shady, please stand up and put one of those fingures on each hand up and to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? I'm Slim Shady Yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady... Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up becuase I'm Slim Shady Yes I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim shady... Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

	EMINEM-STAN- CHORUS: My tea's gone cold,I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad My tea's gone cold,I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad VERSE 1: Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't callin' I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom I sent two letters back in autumn You must not have got 'em It probably was a problem at the post office or somethin' Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em But anyways, fuck it, what's been up man, how's your daughter? My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm out to be a father If I have a daughter, guess what I'm-a call her? I'm-a name her Bonnie. I read about your uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him. I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan. I even got the underground shit that you did with ScamZ. I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man. I like the shit you did with Ruckus too, that shit was fat. Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat Truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan. CHORUS: My tea's gone cold,I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad VERSE 2: Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have the chance. I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't answer fans. If you didn't want to talk to me outside your concert You didn't have to but you could have signed an autograph for Matthew. That's my little brother, man. He's only 6 years old. We waited in the blistering cold for you for 4 hours and ya just said no. That's pretty shitty man, you're like his fuckin' idol He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do. I ain't that mad, but I just don't like bein' lied to. Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write you You would write back. See, I'm just like you in a way. I never knew my father neither. He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her. I can relate to what you're sayin' in your songs. So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on. Cause I don't really got shit else, so that shit helps when I'm depressed. I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest. Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds. It's like adrenaline. The Pain is such a sudden rush for me. See, everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it. My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7. But she don't know you like I know you, Slim, no one does. She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up. You've gotta call me man. I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose. Sincerely yours, Stan. PS: We should be together too. CHORUS: My tea's gone cold,I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad VERSE 3: Dear Mr. "I'm too good to call or write my fans" This'll be the last package I ever send your ass. It's been six months and still no word. I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect. So this is my cassette I'm sending you. I hope you hear it. I'm in the car right now. I'm doing 90 on the freeway. Hey Slim, "I drank a fifth of vodka, ya dare me to drive?" You know that song by Phil Collins from "The Air In The Night"? About that guy who could have saved that other guy from drowning? But didn't? Then Phil saw it all then at his show he found him? That's kinda how this is. You could have rescued me from drowning. Now it's too late. I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy. And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call. I hope you know I ripped all o' your pictures off the wall. I love you Slim, we could have been together. Think about it. You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it. And when you dream, I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it. I hope your conscious eats at you and you can't breathe without me. See Slim, {screaming} shut up bitch, I'm trying to talk Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk. But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you. 'Cause if she suffocates, she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too. Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now. Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out? {screeching tires, crashing sounds, car splashes into the water} VERSE 4: Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I've just been busy. You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she? Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that. And here's an autograph for your brother: I wrote it on your Starter cap. I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must have missed you. Don't think I did that shit intentionally, just to diss you. And what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too? I say that shit just clownin' dawg, c'mon, how fucked up is you? You got some issues, Stan, I think you need some counselin' To help your ass from bouncin' off the walls when you get down some. And what's this shit about us meant to be together? That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other. I really think you and your girlfriend need each other. Or maybe you just need to treat her better. I hope you get to read this letter. I just hope it reaches you in time. Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'd be doin' just fine If you'd relax a little. I'm glad that I inspire you, but Stan Why are you so mad? Try to understand that I do want you as a fan. I just don't want you to do some crazy shit. I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick. Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge And had his girlfriend in the trunk and she was pregnant with his kid And in the car they found a tape but it didn't say who it was to Come to think about it...his name was...it was you. DAMN!

	EMINEMMY NAME IS Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?) My name is.. (chica-chica) Slim Shady Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (chica-chica) Slim Shady Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?) My name is.. (chica-chica) Slim Shady Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (chica-chica) Slim Shady Ahem.. excuse me! Can I have the attention of the class for one second? Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!) Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!) Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!) Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?) My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..) And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!" Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!" Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!) I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off! Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?) My name is.. (chica-chica) Slim Shady Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (chica-chica) Slim Shady My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be thirty-five I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler and stapled his nuts to a stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!) Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup Extraterrestrial, runnin over pedestrians in a spaceship while they screamin at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!" Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to I just found out my mom does more dope than I do (Damn!) I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!) You know you blew up when the women rush your stands and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!) This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph (Dude, can I get your autograph?) So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!' Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?) My name is.. (chica-chica) Slim Shady Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (chica-chica) Slim Shady Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!) Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE! I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (Fuck that!) I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive (Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead) All my life I was very deprived I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide (Whoops!) Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too) I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere) When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!) YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAHHH!) I lay awake and strap myself in the bed Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!) I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!) And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?) Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?) My name is.. (chica-chica) Slim Shady Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (chica-chica) Slim Shady
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